How I became a Mommy 3 times.

My first son was born 7 years ago and it was something I had waited all my life for. On Sept 10th my OBGYN induced me 3 days before my due date. At 4pm I was hooked up to all the bells and whistles that come with a hospital birth. My water was broke and the pitocin was started. We had a lot of people waiting with us for our son's arrival . After asking for staydol for the pain I have no memory of a big part of my labor. I finally got an epidural and by 10 I was fully dilated. I pushed for 2 hrs and the nurses had used an entire bottle of baby wash but he was posterior and wouldn't budge. He wasn't able to get in a good position since i was kept on my back for the entire labor and pushing phase. Around 2am the insisted on a Cesarean delivery. I was exhausted and went with the flow. Charles Curtis Van Norman VI was born before 3am and was healthy. We were elated. Unfortunately the hospital wouldn't allow my husband to go into the nursery with my son so he had to look through the window of the nursery like all the other family members. Then when it was time for me to go to my room they wouldn't allow my husband to stay with me since I didn't have a private room. So after an emotionally and physically exhausting day I was left by myself still numb from the spinal. Around 5am the nurse wheeled my son in and pointed out where the formula and diapers were and left the room. I sat dumbfounded. I was still unable to move, still had a catheter in, and was by myself. They really thought I was going to be able to take care of him right then?? Fortunately we did get a room to ourselves later that day and we spent the rest of our time in the hospital falling in love with our son. I did have some postpartum issues after the birth because he didn't arrive the way he was supposed to and the way I had planned.

Two years later we decided to get pregnant again. After a lot of research on VBAC's I figured I would go to a different Dr and a different hospital for this delivery. So from day one at the Dr's office I begged for a VBAC. I begged all the way up to the day he set my repeat Cesarean date. I gave in figuring i had no choice otherwise. This time it was just going to be my husband and I  since we had a 3 ring circus at my first son's birth. January 12th early in the morning we went into the hospital very excited to meet the newest member to our family. I should have known as soon as we got there that it was not going to turn out well for us. They didn't have a room for us so we got stuck in what I labeled "The Closet". It was just big enough for a bed and a chair. They finally walked me back to the OR where I went in by myself to get the spinal. It took 8 tries to get it placed and after it was secure I became so violently ill. I was vomiting the entire operation and then became itchy all over. After my son was born they showed him to me then took him away. My husband was able to go with him this time but came back to check on me since I was so ill. I finally got back to my room after the surgery and continued to be sick. I couldn't keep water down. It was a couple hrs after the delivery when I started to ask for my son and no one would bring him into me. My husband went to the nursery to check on him. When the nurse came to the door her response was "Oh didn't the Nurse tell you?". My husband's heart sank he thought he had died. Turned out he was very very sick and was in the level 2 nursery. I met my son when I was wheeled into the Nursery to sign a waver giving the Dr permission to put a needle in my son's chest to remove the air that was trapped and so his collapsed lung could re inflate. I stood there bleeding on the floor and all I could get out before they made me leave was "Hi I'm you Mommy". I was wheeled out and put back into my room to try and understand what just happened. Around 5pm my son was brought into my room in an isolate on top of a gurney. He was being transported to a different hospital that had a level 1 NICU. I had to wait 2 days to leave the hospital and go see my son. My Dr didn't even know what was going on. He asked where my son was when he came in to do rounds. He didn't believe us when we told him what was going on. The hardest part of that stay was listening to the babies cry in their mom's room and my baby was nowhere around. I was finally able to leave the hospital with staples still in the incision. My son spent the next 3 weeks in the NICU. He was on a ventilator for 10 days and had 6 different chest tubes placed. He ended up with a pneumothorax (a hole) in his right lung. It was caused from him inhaling blood during the surgery. I wasn't able to hold my son for 2 weeks and was never able to nurse him since he had a feeding tube placed while being treated for the pneumothoraxmeds for the first year of his life for that and we had many many Dr's apt's to make sure their was no further damage from being on the vent for so long. He has turned out to be an amazing, loving, free spirited child. He lights up the room with his smile and his laugh is contagious. He is 5 now and getting ready for Kindergarten. We are lucky that he has no lasting health issues.

After Christian's birth and the chaos that followed I did alot more research. My husband and I decided we would never put another baby through that so we had to find another way. We got pregnant with my daughter 3 years later and decided to see a Midwife. The pregnancy was great and we were planning a home birth. We were really looking forward to a different outcome than we had gotten from the first two. I was due DEC 27th. The day came and went and finally on Dec 31st i started having contractions. I truly didn't believe it was the real deal since it had been so long. I hesitated to call my midwife but by 5pm that day I kinda figured it was the real deal. We went to bed since the surges weren't to strong or lasting to long. Close to midnight I called my Doula Naomi to come over to help me. She showed up at my house at midnight right when the fireworks were going off over the Las Vegas strip. She sat for a while but figured it would be a while and asked if i wanted her to stay. I said no that i would call if anything changed. About an hour or so later I couldn't get on top of the surges and my husband was sound asleep. I called Naomi and my midwife Jill. The labor tub showed up and was filled and my Sister's and Mom showed up also. I stayed in my room either on the birthing ball, sitting on the rocking chair, or in the tub. Time just flew by and i was handling the surges pretty easily. Then transition came and things got a little intense. My Midwife and Doula were fantastic at keeping me going and focused on what I was fighting for. Finally it was time to push. I was in the tub with my husband, sisters, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, Midwife, and Doula as I started to push. Twenty six minutes later my Daughter arrived in a very calm loving and warm environment. She was lifted out of the water and into my arms. It was the most amazing and intense moment of my life. I was in love instantly. I took a quick shower after my Midwife took her to do the normal newborn check. I crawled into bed and my daughter was placed in my arms and was never taken again. My husband climbed in bed with us and shortly after Piper's arrival my boys came home to meet their baby sister. They both fell madly in love with her. It took 18 hrs of labor and 26 min of pushing for our hearts to be healed from the previous birth. We are a stronger family because of our birth journey's. I love all my kids equally and thank them all for shaping me into the mom that I am and teaching me the lesson's I needed to learn through each one of their birth's. When we have our fourth and final baby we will have another home birth and I'm sure we will have another great story to share.